


Submerged

by Fishycoffee



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, Discord: Elsanna Shenanigans (Disney), Drowning, Elsanna Monthly Contest, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Prompt Fic, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, between frozen 1 and 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:40:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25769827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fishycoffee/pseuds/Fishycoffee
Summary: Being queen, having powers, all the responsibilities, it weighs heavy like a stone on Elsa. Everything is too much and the waters of the fjord offer a permanent escape. Thankfully Anna is there once again.
Relationships: Anna & Elsa (Disney), Anna/Elsa (Disney)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 44
Collections: Elsanna Shenanigans Monthly Contests Submissions





	Submerged

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for the Elsanna Shenanigans June 2020 Contest with the prompt being ‘more’  
> This is set between Frozen and Frozen 2.
> 
> Warnings:  
> Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts

Water softly lapped against the stones along the edge of the shoreline, behind the castle. Each small wave moving smaller pebbles, rolling them back and forth, back and forth. A few lighter ones were pulled back with the receding water and thus lost to the depths, never returning to the shoreline with their fellow stones. Instead, they sank deep down, away from the sunlight at the surface, before coming to a rest along the bottom sometime later, still and unmoving.

Did the other stones ever miss their lost friends? It seemed like such a catastrophic event, losing one of their own, yet the waves kept coming and the stones kept rolling. Life continued on as it always did, and always will.

She watched the water for a long time, the sun low in the sky, casting long yellow rays across the near still surface of the fjord. Her knees pulled up to her chest, both arms wrapped around herself. She felt small like one of the little stones along the shore like at any moment a receding wave could pull her down into the depths. It would be easier, quiet and simple, uneventful and…

Suddenly, a boat cut through the glass-like surface some distance away, the water became turbulent in its wake. The once peaceful waves became violent and crashed angrily against the shoreline. The stones were jostled and tossed about, some thrown higher on the shore and even more pulled into the depths. Once the waves settled again, she was looking at completely different stones then a few moments prior. Everything had shifted, just like that. 

Elsa glanced down at the items near her side. A large carved stone with an old metal ring stuck deep within, and a rope. The stone was heavy and smooth, having spent years as various anchor points for horses, construction, ships in the harbor, or whatever else needed to be held in place. Now it would hold her in place, forever.

Sure, she could have used her powers, but it felt like cheating. It was too easy and she didn’t deserve easy. The stone was solid and true, free of any flaws unless you looked close, then you could see the small cracks and divots. In a lot of ways she was like the stone; an anchor of the kingdom with a seemingly flawless surface. Yet just like the stone, she too was cracked and worn if you looked closely.

***

The queen swam out a short distance, the rock made it harder to swim than she’d realized. It was only a few moments later that she stopped and turned to face the castle. The banners and flags to celebrate the summer solstice party flapped the breeze. Elsa noted how happy and free they seemed, unburdened by people’s opinions or life's troubles.

 _It’s better this way. I won’t be a burden any longer._ She thought. She had seen the way people seemed to walk on eggshells around her. Even after all this time, after unfreezing the kingdom, all of it didn’t matter. People only remember bad things, they only remember the fear they felt… _That they still feel._

Elsa inhaled deeply and closed her eyes as she stopped treading water, succumbing to the weight of the stone. It pulled her down head first, forcing her legs to the surface momentarily and she kicked out just before they slipped under.

The water completely closed in around her, any sound that was present at the surface quickly dampened till there was nothing. The quiet was almost eerie. She opened her eyes against the sting of the salt and watched the light fade above her. Somewhere to her left, a fish darted by, its scales flashing in the dim light.

Down and down she sank, the stone clutched tightly to her chest. She didn’t know how deep she was, but her ears and jaw ached and her lungs started to burn. She opened her mouth, exhaling large bubbles, they quickly escaped to the surface. This only relieved her lungs for a brief second before the pain returned, worse than before. Her arms twitched and her chest heaved, she let the stone go and it continued sinking. Her own descent stopped and she hung suspended somewhere near the thermocline, the water below was dark and murky and the stone quickly disappeared.

Her entire body seemed to be screaming, desperate for air. Elsa wondered if they would find her body later or if she would become some ghostly figure tethered to a rope. Anna would be so sad, she might not ever swim in the fjord again.

Anna.

_What am I doing?_

Anna!

_I don’t want to die….._

Her head pounded; the sound was almost too much. Her muscles spasmed. Her entire chest burned.

Elsa tried to use her powers to cut the rope, but all she could manage was a sharp shard of ice. She sliced at the rope still tethering her to the stone, now taut. Once… twice…… three times … but it didn’t cut through. Even completely submerged, she was crying, too late, too selfish.

Some splashing sound far off cut through the pounding in her ears, or was it close? She couldn’t tell anymore. She exhaled one last time as a few tiny bubbles left her. She watched them make their way up, her last breath. The bubbles glinted in the dim light like the fish but somehow brighter, they were frozen and rising slowly.

A large shape moved towards her as a darkness that had nothing to do with the water crept over her vision. She gasped for air but there was none. Water instead of air rushed into her lungs and she involuntarily coughed, causing her to inhale even more water. Elsa felt heavy yet weak all at the same time. Then the darkness in her vision completely consumed her and suddenly there was nothing. Her body went limp, the shard of ice falling from her hand.

_…...An... n…..a……….._

***

Anna leaned on the railing of the balcony, she was avoiding the nobles arriving for the upcoming summer solstice party. She was grateful to be included in royal duties, but after twenty nobles without pause, she was admittedly tired and needed some air. Besides, there would be a penalty of time to play face with them later.

Who knew constantly greeting new people and faking a smile would be so exhausting? She wondered how her sister handled it; the older woman never seemed to falter or stumble when she was in ‘queen’ mode. Yet Elsa had been absent today since breakfast, which did seem a little weird, then again, she did have a lot of duties and preparations to attend to. That’s how Anna got saddled with greeting duty.

The late afternoon brought with it a gentle breeze that ruffled the newly-hung party decorations strung throughout the courtyard and castle walls. The kingdom’s flag made up the majority of the decor, adorned with golden crocuses that glimmered in the setting sunlight.

The castle looked festive and welcoming, a stark difference to only a few years ago. She was so glad Elsa was opening up not only the gates but herself. Anna had missed her dearly, and every day since Elsa unfroze the kingdom felt like a gift. The party was sure to be nothing short of amazing. It was perfect, life was as it should be.

But even the smoothest stone can have cracks under the surface.

Out of the corner of her eye, Anna saw something moving in the water, and she turned in time to see a splash. It looked like a large bird diving below the surface or a massive fish breaching. 

Maybe it was the direction the movement came from, or maybe it was the fact Elsa has been missing all day, but Anna was filled with a sudden dread. She glanced down to where the castle leads out the water, where Elsa liked to go, where she ran from before. And Anna saw, in the dimming daylight, the faint glow from the castle’s interior. The door was slightly ajar. Meaning Elsa had gone out that way, Anna quickly searched the shoreline and saw nothing but cold, lifeless stones.

Her blood ran cold.

That wasn’t an animal splashing in the fjord, it had to be Elsa. Something was wrong.

Quickly, she ripped her vest off and without hesitation or fear of falling, she jumped from the balcony. In one swift, fluid motion, she threw her vest over one of the ropes stretching from the balcony to the rampart. The line held the small crocus flags that now whipped against Anna’s face in protest as she slid, or rather flew down, but she couldn’t feel them, fueled by adrenaline.

She hit the castle’s outer wall hard but didn’t slow, thankful in that moment the servants had lazily left the extra rope in a heap on top of the rampart. Anna threw the entire bundle over the side, towards the water below. She turned her back to the fjord and rappelled down gracelessly but still controlled. The coarse rope cut into her palms, blood trickled down her arms yet still she didn’t stop or slow.

Her feet reached the rocks below and here she paused if only to get her bearings. The entire descent had taken at the most, thirty seconds. A small voice in her head told her she was overreacting and there was nothing to worry about and she shouldn’t have jumped from a balcony. Yet an overwhelming feeling of dread consumed her, eating away at her heart like a starving animal. It was Elsa, she knew.

Large bubbles broke the surface of the water only a few meters out, angry and turbulent. Anna leaped from the rocks and dove in, swimming as fast as she could despite wearing a dress and boots. The saltwater hurt her hands yet the closer she got, the colder the water felt as if to confirm her worst fears. She didn’t feel her minor wounds anymore once she reached the spot where she had seen the bubbles break the surface

Anna took a deep breath and kicked hard while pulling forward and down, making her own splash this time. She forced her eyes open against the sting of the saltwater, everything was dim and murky. Then she saw it, small frozen bubbles glowing brightly against a dark sea. They resembled pearls; any other time, Anna would have been mesmerized.

Now, they only served as a beacon that drew her attention to the correct area of the vast ocean, Even in the murky waters, she could see the platinum blonde hair of her sister floating listlessly, still neatly in a braid. Anna was close, another downward pull of her arms and she was there at Elsa’s side.

Anna took in everything quickly, she saw the rope tied around Elsa’s waist that extended taut into the dark depths below. Saw the cut marks in that same rope, saw the shard of ice like a knife, dangling loosely in Elsa’s hand.

And she saw Elsa.

Eyes closed, limp and lifeless, her body swaying gently in the faint current. And in that moment Anna also saw the shard slip from her sister’s hand. She reacted quickly and managed to catch the shard by the tip.

With her free arm, she grabbed Elsa around the waist before slicing through the rest of the rope. It cut easily, her sister having nearly succeeded in the task. With her own lungs starting to burn, Anna kicked as hard as she could to drive both bodies upwards. She let the shard go and proceeded to kick and pull at the water with all her strength until finally, they broke the surface.

Anna inhaled deeply and pulled Elsa’s head back so her face was clear from the water. She swam cumbersomely back towards the shore, supporting both their weight. What little saving grace it was that Elsa has not made it out far. 

Anna hauled Elsa’s waterlogged body onto the shore as far as she could, still, the lifeless girl’s ankles were lapped by the waves. Seconds of panic felt like hours, Elsa wasn’t moving, wasn’t breathing. What should she do? What could she do? Panic. Fear. Her emotions clouded her thoughts and Anna shook Elsa’s shoulders violently, to no avail.

Fear.

“Elsa!!!” She shouted it at the wind, at the ocean, at the stones that made the shore, at the girl lying at her feet.

Panic.

Feeling helpless, Anna threw herself on top of Elsa, sobbing and pounded her fists into her chest out of frustration.

Suddenly, Elsa spasmed and Anna jumped, startled before quickly recovering and shoving Elsa onto her side. Anna didn’t say anything, her emotions were still jumbled. So she just held her there with both hands pressed into Elsa’s back as she heaved and coughed violently, expelling the water from her lungs. The water in front of the older girl’s face icing over slightly.

Finally, the coughing subsided and Anna shifted to gather her sister into her arms, realizing then that Elsa was... shivering? No, she was shaking. Anna looked down, Elsa had balled her fists into as much of Anna’s skirt as she could and she was crying.

“Elsa...” Anna said softly, tightening her embrace. 

“Anna... Anna I’m so s--sorry” Elsa replied, burying her face into Anna.

Time didn’t matter, the heavy wet clothes and messy hair didn’t matter. The rough rocky shoreline, the way the warm summer breeze felt cold against damp skin. Even the party tomorrow. Nothing of it could ever mean more than having Elsa right here with her. Breathing and very much alive.

It scared Anna how quickly that could have all gone away just a few moments prior, how close she came to losing Elsa. She didn’t dwell on that for long though, not in this moment. Instead, she was simply thankful to have her sister again.

Anna would do anything for her.

“No, shhh, it’s ok,” Anna moved her hand in a small circle on Elsa’s shoulder. “You’re here now and that’s enough.”

Elsa didn’t reply; she just sobbed into Anna, hopelessly wrinkling her sister’s dress in the process.

***

The sun had long since set, candles instead bathed the room in a warm soft light. It felt familiar and safe, yet there was now a coldness that hung awkwardly in the air. Elsa sat on the edge of her bed, clad in dry clothes and wrapped in a blanket. She stared at the closest candle, watching the flame flicker and dance, so carefree and unburdened like the flags earlier. She was suddenly jealous of the flame and its freedom, and shot a small, concentrated ice blast at the candle, extinguishing it, removing its life. The action didn’t make her feel any better like she thought it would, all her actions did was cast the room further into darkness.

“Hey,” Anna said, watching the exchange as she walked over to Elsa’s bed. “I want you to talk to me.”

Elsa looked at her sister and didn’t reply as the younger girl climbed onto the bed and sat down next to her. A few long beats passed before the silence was broken.

“It doesn’t matter, Anna. You can’t fix this,” the older woman looked down. She hugged the blanket tighter around her shoulders as if to shut the world out, shut Anna out.

“Let me try... please,” Anna placed a hand on her sister’s shoulder.

“How can you fix this crushing… this overwhelming feeling that you will never be enough for the kingdom you are supposed to rule over as deemed by your birth order?” She exhaled forcefully, “Powers be damned, they view me as nothing more than a cursed child.”

“That’s not true! Well, I mean the cursed child part isn’t true, you do have to be queen because you know, first-born but that’s okay… you’re okay I mean… you are okay, right?” Anna replied, stumbling through her words.

“You ask that question like you don’t know what I was trying to do out there.”

“No, I ask that because I don’t think YOU KNOW how much to mean to everyone... and to me.”

Elsa sighed in response and turned away, pulling the blanket even tighter around her to the point the fabric tore a little, like a small crack in a stone.

Anna suddenly grabbed the older woman’s face and turned it towards her. “You are enough, okay? You’re more than enough, Elsa. The powers, your powers, they aren’t a curse. You melted the ice last summer, you ended trade with the Southern Isles and Weselton, you opened the gates and kept them open AND you’re restoring traditions from the past. The summer solstice party is happening tomorrow. YOU did that!”

“Those are normal duties for a ruler - they have nothing to do with my powers,” she opened her palm, the blanket falling away slightly, and let loose a few small snowflakes. “People comply with my demands because they’re afraid I will send the kingdom into a premature and never-ending winter again.”

“I don’t think people are as afraid of you as you think they are. I think maybe you might be sorta more afraid to let people in.”

Elsa just stared at her, letting the silence hang again. A gentle breeze blew through the open window, the scent of saltwater reminding her how much it had burned her nose and throat a few hours earlier.

And she hated it. She hated herself for allowing things to come to this point. What was she doing anyway? Throwing her life away the day of the summer solstice party which was also her sister’s birthday celebration? Selfish. Once again. Anna was right, she was afraid to let anyone in, even now with Anna trying so hard day after day…

Her blue eyes shifted to the floor and she tried unsuccessfully to blink back tears. Guilt. She felt so guilty it was as if she was drowning again.

Anna gathered Elsa’s hands in her own. “Hey, look at me. You froze my heart and I nearly died, but I’m still here and I trust you with every fiber of my being. Why do you think I keep saving you?”

With one hand she reached up and caressed Elsa’s chin with a touch that was so soft it was almost a whisper against her skin.

“I love you Elsa, and you matter, you matter so much. I want you to understand that. And I want you to understand that you’re everything to me and I wouldn’t dare to ever change that.”

Elsa looked at her sadly, here her sister was, pulling her up again from the depths of darkness, and she didn’t feel like she was worthy. Anna was too kind, too selfless. “You deserve better than me. Kristoff can give you so much more...”

“Kristoff isn’t you! Did you not hear what I said? I love YOU, you right here, sitting on your bed after I hauled your ass out of the fjord.” Anna paused for a moment as if debating something. “Elsa, listen to me. I like Kristoff, but I love you. I always have and I can’t lose you. I have climbed a mountain and beat back the ocean to save you. People don’t just do that for anyone, they do it for someone they love.” 

The breeze blew through the window again, but the wind had shifted directions and brought with it the scent of summer blossoms. It smelt sweet and welcoming and Elsa looked at her, at Anna, the reason she had decided not to die. The true reason she tried to cut the rope but too late and yet there she was like she always had been. Anna, her hero, here to save her again.

“It was you,” Elsa stated, she finally let the torn blanket drop, half of it fell to the floor.

“Yeah, dummy, I helped you cut the rest of the rope and pulled you back to shore an--”

“No.” Elsa cut her off. “The thing that made me realize I didn’t want to die… was you.”

Anna didn’t have to search Elsa’s face for an unspoken truth or for words held back. This time it felt raw and vulnerable in a way that Elsa rarely was. Those words the older woman had spoken, this confession that Anna herself was the reason she chose to live, those were as true as the dawn.

It nearly overwhelmed her with a deep-seated yearning, long since buried. All Anna ever wanted was to be accepted and loved by Elsa, all those years apart. So, so many years behind a closed door. Yet, there was Elsa, watching her calmly waiting for a response and it was Anna’s turn to command the silence that enveloped the room. Yet somehow it in itself didn’t feel overbearing; the silence settled comfortably between them. The magic, the secrets, and all the lies from previous years didn’t matter now. As far as Anna was concerned, those things stayed at the bottom of the fjord with that old stone. 

Unable to contain it anymore, Anna leaped forward, tackling Elsa into an embrace. Her foot snagged on the fallen blanket and where there was once a small tear it completely tore like a stone wall finally giving way or a door finally opening.

Elsa tightly wrapped both arms around her, burying her head in Anna’s shoulder. She breathed in, thankful to take a full breath of air into her lungs, noting that Anna smelled softly of summer flowers and pine. She felt warm and safe, grounded to the moment. Elsa was crying again, but they weren’t tears of sadness this time.

She pulled back from Anna and looked at her, their faces so close Elsa could count each individual freckle. They had more to talk about, more to discuss, but that would be saved for another time. What was happening right now was all that mattered at the moment, and that was okay. Tenderly, Elsa reached up and brushed a strand of hair back behind Anna’s ear before speaking.

“I don’t need anything more than you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey thanks for reading, please take a moment to leave a kudos or comment.
> 
> If you enjoyed this story and want to meet fellow readers/writers/artists and discuss all things Elsanna, join the Elsanna Shenanigans community on Discord at discord.gg/9jWGSQjpEr


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